Monday, January 23, 2006

Lamaze I

We had our first Lamaze class tonight. It was very interesting to say the least.

It kind of felt like we were back in school. The class was made up of some jocks, some nerds, a few cool kids, a couple straight out of the 1970's, and a teacher's pet. But our classmates weren't the only things that were just like junior high. We also passed visual aids around the room. And when the teacher asked a question, no one said a word. We even dimmed the lights at one point to watch a few videos.

At least this time through they had the courtesy to let us bring some pillows.

What amazed me is that there was only one break during the two hour long class. You would think that having eight pregnant ladies stuck in the same place might warrant a few more opportunities to use the rest room, but they all did OK.

Near the end we broke out the blue gymnastics mats and tried some relaxation techniques. I'll share.

First, tense up your forehead and then release that pressure. Do the same with your neck. Then your shoulders. Just breathe deeply and let all of that tension flow out through your toes. Now, try to remain relaxed as 2 janitors yell at each other while having a squeaky-wheeled mop bucket race in the adjoining lobby.

Kind of calms your whole self down, doesn't it?


  1. Relax-schmelax. I have one piece of advice: ask for drugs. Lots of them. Good, strong ones. Start asking for them as soon as you leave your house for the hospital. It makes for a good mantra while in labor and stresses how much you really want drugs to the very busy medical staff who will be looking after you and then have to leave for a few hours to take care of someone else.

  2. Here?s my guarantee: within 5 minutes of entering the delivering suite, you will not only forget all of the Lemaze lessons, but also important things like your name or the date. Lemaze won?t help you and it won?t help Steph. Only drgs will help.

    That said, try your best to remember this: let her hold your LEFT hand. This way, you will still be able to use your right hand after she squeezes your left hand into oblivion.

    One other word of advice... while you are in the delivery suite, don?t eat in front of her. No matter what. Do your eating outside of the suite. Even Necco wafers will be appealing to her since all she will be allowed to do is chew on ice.